Bimbang

Kini aku tengah berada dalam kebimbangan akan dua hal yang sama sama tak pasti
Gusti... Bantu hambaMu ini
Kuyakin pasti
Apa yang Kau beri
Adalah yang terbaik, lebih dari yang kuingini

Migraine

Oh my dear migraine
I was so happy gor not seeing you for quite a long time but then you come to me. I know you miss me badly but I really don't want to see you any longer. If someone says that longing is killing, for nee seeing you is killing me
It hurts a lot... Please don't ever look for me

OMG I am broke

Wow... Is what I am feeling. Hey world... I am totally broke and have nothing ㅋㅋㅋ what I can do is just laughing at myself who has nothing left
How can I survive then. Let's see hoe the world works

Teenlit

I forget when the last time I read teenlit. In a sudden teenlit thing came to my mind. I miss that time when I read those light romance, teen typical kkk~
Can't wait to go to bookstore and find the good one

Those Days

Those days when I ran to somewhere I'd never been. Getting and losing many things. Those days when I can the real me. Those dayas where I could struggle and cooperate with others. Those days showed me that I am not that weak but also not that strong. Those days that showed me women ' s power.
I really blessed I thought... Because God showed me many good people who I could share my laugh and love with. God showed me a gentleman *hloo kok melenceng* who saved my friend of being stuck at train station. God showed me how gentlemen should behave. I really thank You my dear God.

Lariiiii
Ingin kulari
Ketempat aku bisa sendiri
Tertawa
Menangis
Tertawa lagi
Bebas bersama sang mentari
Walau sekjap
Hanya bersamanya
Yang akan menghilang
Ketika senja menyapa
Aku
Ingin lari
Ya
Lari

Bimbang

Ketika dinding kian menyempit
Atap menurun
Lantai menaik
Beranjak menyusut
Menuntut menyatu
Menghimpit
Sebongkah tulang berbalut daging
Yang sebentar lagi akan sirna
Tak hilang massanya
Hanya bentuknya
Entah apa nantinya
Apa apa apa
Ku tak tau
Apa apa apa
Pusing
Pening
Bertahan disini
Di rongga kepalaku

Merdeka

Saya hanya ingin merdeka menjadi diri saya tanpa interupsi dan caci. Saya hanya ingin merdeka tanpa ada yang berbisik di kanan kiri...
Kapan saya merdeka sepenuhnya atas diri saya sendiri. Yang selama ini terkungkung dalam bayang orang lain. Bahkan saya sendiri yang menciptakan kerangkeng kerangkeng dan rantai yang membelenggu diri saya sendiri. Rantai rantai yang saling berkait dari ujung kepala hingga ujung kaki. Hingga hanya satu mata yang bisa sekedar mengintip seberkas cahaya yang bahkan masih terlampau terang tampaknya. Rantai yang entah sampai kapan akan terus bersarang dan menyatu dalam tubuhku yang terlanjur ngilu.
Kapan aku merdeka atas aku?
Kapan mereka berhenti menyayat nyayat tiap celah tubuhku?
Rantai ini...
Ada kalanya melindungiku
Dari sayatan sadis yang terus menerus datang
Tapi terkadang
Ingin aku melepas
Semua rantai yang terkadang melindungiku ini
Dan membiarkan mereka menyayat semua
Tapi
Aku tak mau terus terjajah
Aku bisa lepas dari rantai rantai yang terkadang melindungiku ini
Tanpa takut akan mereka yang menyayatku
Aku bisa berbalik
Menyayat mereka
Agar mereka bisa
Merasakan pedihnya sayatan sayatan yang bahkan gak terhitung
Lihatlah sayatan ini
Yang masih segar
Menertawakanku yang tak bisa melihatnya jelas
Dengan satu mata
Luka yang dikukis di atas entah lapisan keberapa luka lama

Is there anyone I can trust?

Is there anyone I can trust? When I saw lots of lies spreading and blooming nearby. Is there anyone I can trust when the people surround me always wearing mask in front of me. When theybsmile in front of me and smirk.behind me. When they do motivate me but fall me down behind me.
Dear wind... Dear stars... Is there anyone?

Tiduuuurrr

Setelah cukup lama menghabiskan waktu di perjalanan. Akhirnya kami tiba di penginapan.. alhamdulillah. Kami tidur di 2 rusng tidur yang terpisah, cewek cowok mba broo.. group cewek nggak bisa langsung tidur gara2 mikirin the next 9 days. Semoga menyenangkan. Selamat tidur...

9.5 kg, what?????

I was checking my luggage in the baggage checking. I was the one who used the baggage service because my bag was the biggest among the others it was even bigger than me *it is allowed to laugh*
I never expectrd before that my bag' s weight was 9.5 kilos,  what???
Let's see what happened next.

From the waiting room in Adi Sucipto.
Love,
Me

Perjalanan

Sepanjang perjalanan tadi kupikir dan kurasa jarang banget deh kita kena lampu merah. Pernah ding...tapi paling lama to kayaknya 10 hitungan mundur deh. Hopefully we can go to Malioboro on gime deh..semoga pada belom tutup hoho.
Pas awal perjalanan tadi kita masih rame tentang macem- macemlah. Mulai dari eyang subur, kim kardashian sampe RSJ kkk. Tapi begitu kami makan beuh...masuk mobil diem semua kayaknya sih udah pada kenyang kalo nggak kecapekan tadi kali ya..eh ini lagi2 di lampu merah dan dapetnya ijo lagi. Alhamdulillah...
Can't wait for tomorrow...
See you (tapi aku ga yakin ini bakal jadi postinv terakhir hari ini deh)

Letter

That letter that you wrote
I keep it
All can I say is just...
Silly me...

It's been a year
Even more
Since that day..
The day you gave me that letter
And silly me
I didn' t know
It been a year
And I
Still don't know

Silly me
I am sorry

Bunga Ilalang

Ketika sebatang bunga ilalang
Dengan pongahnya tegak berdiri
Diantara para tulip dan mawar
Disana
Sang bayu menerpa
Perlahan
Satu persatu
Dirinya dibawa
Tanpa terasa
Hingga kini tak bersisa

Aku

Siapa aku?
Hanya tulang berbalut daging yang congkak menantang dunia
Bermodalkan tekad angin
Menyapu hampar luas padang pasir tak berujung

Jemu

Jemu ketika hanya bisa beraktifitas hanya itu
Jemu ketika tak ada yang baru
Jemu ketika hanya ada aku
Duduk, tepekur dan terpaku
Disini, di sudut kamar ini
Aku jemu

Entah apa

Ada yang bilang kalau dia kuatlah.gentlelah...tapi setelah selama ini sembunyi di belakangku dan menikamku apa itu?
Hanya bisa tertawa pada dunia...
Bahkan hingga kini masih susah aku untuk melupakan semuanya.
Dibelakangku? Kkk lucu

Something Suspicious in My Eyes

            I had a problem with my eyes. Both of my eyes are easy to feel in burn and the side effects are I get an agony effect in my eyes and the back of my head.  Then I also feel my head is very heavy, so it actually disturbs me from doing my activities, finishing my job. A couple days ago I got something suspicious in my eyes. Around my pupils area there are bumps. Today I found something that in my right eye’s pupil there is a crack, I am so afraid that it means “something”. I hope I’ll be OK, maybe on Monday I’ll check my eyes also my respiration organ. I hope everything is alriight so that I can study better. Amiiin

My First Heeled Sandals

           Hi, today I want to share about what I got. Actually I got my first heeled sandals *iyeyy*. As you know that I am not such a kind of girly girl but also not such a kind of boyish girl (because my boyish era had been over almost for five years). I’ll tell you the chronology. My family and I were going to the supermarket to buy clothes for my first brother. There my mother and I also looking for sandals (Actually because I do not have any appropriate sandals anymore) then I saw some sandals, minute by minute went by but I still couldn’t find any because I got a problem of choosing number for my small feet. After that I try to find more and then *voila* my mom got a pair, they are cute enough(just like me J)and the best part was they are fit to my feet. Finally I got my first heeled sandals *iyeeeeeyyy* but at first I used those sandals I was just like a walking robot haha. My mom said finally I became a girl hohoho. 

My Confusion

I know that noone will read my blog so that I feel so blesses here. This is my confusion. Call me egoist this time, I don’t care and I think I’ll never care anymore. I confuse because this week is a very rush week. I was so shocked when I got a message that I have to come to Semarang by the end of this week. What made me confuse is because there will be nobody taking care of my little bros and also my home. Fyi, both of my mother and my father will have an accreditation from tomorrow until the end of this week. Do you know how I feel? It is so complicated. My mom gives me the responsible for taking care of the house and my little brother. So yesterday I asked my lecturer for a permission and he said yes *Alhamdulillah*. So I can do my job to take care of my house and my bros because both of my parents are having accreditation since 18th until 20th of August.